THE YEAR OF THE DARK HORSE
2013 knocked me on my ass. I kept trying to pick myself up but eventually I would be knocked right back down. And so many times I wanted to just stay down but my closest friends and family wouldn’t let me give up.
The Universe wanted the year of the snake to bite me. The venom woke me up and forced me to re-evaluate my life. I was in a career that was killing me. I was living and working in toxic environments. I had toxic friends that would feed me lie after lie. I spent years walking around in a fog, not being true to myself or living my best life. I was miserable. I was lost.
Now its a new year. I left the toxic job, house and friends in 2013. I don’t have a steady job. I don’t have an ideal living situation. But my health is better than it has been in years. I am no longer lost; I found myself. I found a community where I can be the real me and I know where I belong. I know what I want to do with my life. It’s going to be a struggle getting there but 2013 taught me that I am a survivor. I am a strong, independent woman and this is my year.
Last week, a friend of mine was helping me move my bed into my current apartment when she brought up the new Katy Perry song, “Dark Horse.”
“Have you heard it? It is totally you,” she told me.
I explained to her that I came to the same conclusion the first time I heard the song play on the radio. I was leaving my clairvoyance class and the song came on the radio. It was playing on every station…or my radio was purposely stuck on the song, forcing me to listen to it. I usually don’t feel any connection to the words in Katy Perry’s songs. They are too bubble gum for me. But this song has my type of beat. I can’t help but dance every time I hear it. The song is darker, stronger. I feel like any guy who wants to be with me should listen carefully to the words of this song.
But my connection to the song goes beyond the beat and the words. In her Grammy performance, Katy steps into the metaphysical world with crystal balls, gypsy clothes and broomsticks (used like a stripper pole). Certain members of my mom’s family will laugh when they see the video of the performance. This is my world. In August, I discovered that my ancestors, through my Great Grandmother on my maternal grandmother’s side of the family, were Italian gypsies that migrated from Egypt. (Ironically, the official Dark Horse video is Egyptian themed). I did an Ancestry DNA test for confirmation and I am a little over one percent Egyptian but I don’t look it. I look like my Dad’s side of the family but I have the gypsy spirit through and through. Maybe that is why I have always been the black sheep with my paternal family. Well, I am the black sheep no more. I have grown-up, evolved and completely transformed my life. I am now a dark horse and this is my year.