Why?

Have you ever had days where you looked up at the sky and screamed “Why?” to the Universe?  I am having one of those days.

Yesterday, I saw the quote that I posted earlier today.  When I checked www.famousquotesandauthors.com this morning, it was the same quote.  I had actually started writing the previous post yesterday and was going to scrap it until I noticed it was the same quote. So I finished up the entry and posted it.  Just now, I checked the www.famousquotesandauthors.com website and there is a new quote.  The quote is “I think and think for months, for years. Ninety-nine times the conclusion is false. The hundredth time I am right” by Albert Einstein.  When I saw this, my first thought was “seriously?”  Then I looked up at the heavens and asked “why?”

You are probably wondering why this particular quote would make me question the Universe so I will elaborate.  When I first saw this quote about two months ago, it made me think of a particular person who has been in and out of  my life for years.  I even posted this quote on their website.

This person keeps popping into my thoughts involuntarily.  I wanted to leave the past in the past and move toward a better future where I stop repeating my mistakes from the past.  But over the last few days, I have had too many reminders.  For example, at my new rental house I was boxing up books that belong to the owner when I came across some amazing books: Jack Kerouac, Henry Miller, Arthur Miller, collections of poems, plays and the like.  If circumstances were different (this person currently hates me), I would have called him to talk about this amazing literary find.  But alas, things are what they are.  So why is the Universe giving me all kinds of reminders once again?

Is this a test?  A cosmic joke?  I just want to know why I can’t just let go of this person?  I have been able to “let go” of so many things lately–life cleansing is what I like to call it.  But why can’t I cleanse myself from my past, from this person?

WHY?!!!!!!!