I was driving in the car today, on my way to see my therapist, when Linkin Park’s song “Waiting For The End” started to play on the radio. The last time I heard this song was on Saturday Night Live. The February 5th show with Dana Carvey as the host. I remember hearing this song, listening to the words as if they were my own. Little did I know that just a few days later on February 9th, my heart would be breaking. It was the “End” of yet another possible relationship. On January 9th, the gentleman and I had decided to go on a date and exactly one month later it was over. The majority of my friends may be reading this, in shock, because they didn’t even know there was a man in my life. I didn’t want to start telling anyone until I knew things were going to work out. The gentleman even thought I was talking to all of my friends about him but only my family knew. But that doesn’t matter anymore–at least that is what I tell myself.
Today, hearing the song once again, it still sounds like the words are my own. I have trouble letting go of things–and I am not just talking about relationships or people. I know what I have to do to move on but I’m not very good at actually doing what I need to do.
“All I want to do is trade this life for something new. Holding on to what I haven’t got.”
I am a big believer in signs and I often consult Oracle cards for guidance. (Yes, some of my friends tease me but they love me for all my quirks). Yesterday, I decided to consult all three Angel Oracle cards, my Goddess Cards and my Ascending Masters Cards. They all said the same thing.
In the present, I have to recognize that things need to be let go, let them end to allow for new beginnings. Now is the time to start fresh, clean the slate. They all said to return to writing and to focus on my creativity. It is time for a new chapter in my life.
So I guess hearing this song today on my way to therapy was a way to remind me of what I have to do, in case I forgot.
**Ironically, the SNL that aired the Saturday after I originally posted this was a replay of the Dana Carvey episode that I mentioned. I guess the Universe just wanted to be crystal clear for me. So Universe, all I have to say is “message received.”